I’d like share with you 1 key take away I have from attending one of our company’s Gen Assemblies. Few years back, our then VP defined urgency as:&nb
” If you think you need help, go ask for help. But if you see someone needing help, then go help “
I’d like to stress on the latter. Not everyone have that courage to seek help even if they seem desperate. It could be because:
1. They are too scared or maybe just intimidated to ask the person they think can help.
2. They don’t know that they need help because no one has guided them how to do it right to begin with until its too late to resolve or that the impact has gotten big.
3. Or maybe, that person has tried but got dismissed or probably was given the feeling that their opinion/ time doesn’t matter/not important ( as observed via team dynamics and/or body language)
So whether at school or at work, you need to be sensitive and be keen in observing people. What I want you to learn from this are:
1. If you notice someone struggling or people (esp those in position) are starting to talk about how bad/ wrong the outputs are, and you know how to do it right, then offer your help.
2. If you are the one in position, then make that person feel that you are open to help. Initiate and guide — don’t wait to be approached. Don’t judge as it affects your demeanor. Your manner of speaking changes and you may not realize it but that person will all the more shut down and just seek help elsewhere. Or for all you know, will try to resolve it alone based on that person’s understanding. But then again, that person may not know what really needed to happen to start of.
This is just like how you will soon teach your child to walk. You first start with holding both your baby’s hands, guiding them slowly to do that “baby steps” and then eventually start to do it holding just one hand and then eventually let go of both but your hands are still there ready to grab hers when you think your baby is starting to fall and totally let go because you know your baby has learned how to – able to balance and make those steps all on her own. If your kid stumble, don’t laugh, it’ll just embarrass her and make her lose confidence. Instead, tell her that its ok, that it happens and then laugh together. You can even share a story about your own experience to make it more personal. You build connection doing so.
Remember, communication is important. And one can communicate even without uttering a word. That’s why they say, “action speaks louder than words”. Should you communicate, say it straight to the person and not to someone else. The heck with avoiding confrontation! If you are genuine in helping out, you won’t have to worry about your delivery, your tone, or even your choice of words because believe me, you will be as calm as a mom to her kid. You will adjust based on your kid’s ability to learn and will not give up.
Just a side note, that made me realize, in some cases and in general, it’s the child who gives up and never the mom. It’s the student who drops out and not the teacher. It’s the employee who leaves and not the boss. I’m no quitter and so are you. If I leave, its because they gave up on me. I will learn on my own if I need to but never quit. It’s gonna be one tough battle (and an everyday struggle for sure) but will fight until someone gives up — and that’s not gonna be me. Learn from this, you will soon realize how important it is not giving up the battle you are in. Just don’t quit.